So, we shared what husbands wish their wives knew—now it’s time to turn the tables. Guys, here are three things that your wife wants you to know that could significantly change your relationship. 

(Just as in the related post, we’re not the first ones to notice these things. That doesn’t mean they’re not true. And, if husbands knew them and acted on them, their relationships would be very different.)

#1 - She wants you to notice all the things she does.
Women want to be validated for who they are and what they do. (Who doesn’t, really? But that’s another topic.) Your wife is most likely the emotional center of your family. Not only that, but many times the wife is the one that takes the lead on “family stuff.” We’re talking about managing the family calendar, laundry, grocery shopping, things that need to be done around the house. She, most times, is the one that never stops thinking about these things, never stops working to make the home work. Have you noticed that lately? Have you told her how much you appreciate everything she does? Have you coached your kids to express their gratitude to her? If not, add that to your honey-do list for next week. You might be surprised how much she appreciates it.

#2 - She wants you to be involved.
Women want to be a part of a team—they don’t want to feel like they’re in this family thing on their own. Too often, men still view their main contribution to the family as “provider,” thinking that if they have a job and bring in a paycheck they’ve done their part. We’ve got to go beyond that, guys. So don’t just notice what she does to keep the family going, be a part of it. Ask if there’s anything you can do to help her—and then do it! While she’s probably very capable of handling things on her own, she doesn’t want it to be that way. She wants a teammate in this thing, a partner. That’s what she signed up for in this whole marriage deal, anyway—someone to go through life with. Make sure she doesn’t feel like she’s shouldering the home/family burden on her own.

#3 - She wants you to show some effort in the romance department.
As much as everyone jokes about women wanting diamond rings (which they do) or a dozen roses (those never hurt, either), the real thing women want is effort. Show her that you were thinking of her when you’re apart. These days, you can do that with a text message or two throughout the day that you’re thinking about her and that you love her. Leave a note on her pillow at night that just tells her she’s beautiful. It really doesn’t have to be an enormous or expensive gesture, just do something to show her that you love her. No, seriously. Do something. Seriously.

These things may seem simple (because they are), but sadly, the majority of husbands we see in counseling sessions would see their relationships drastically improved if they knew these things—and then acted on that knowledge. 

If you’re struggling in your relationship, we’d love to help you discover what’s at the core of your struggles and how to make sense of it. Contact us today if you’d like to set up an appointment.